The Sarcastic Adventures of a Pissed Off Charizard
by Elecman99
Summary: A Charizard is released from a life of oppression, to life in the forest. Now He and his friends, Sceptile and Feralligatr, are off on a journey to Mt. Forest Fire. Where life of Hot lava slopes, fire proof trees, and beautiful volcanic springs await.
1. Sweet Release

The Sarcastic Misadventures of pissed off Charizard

The Sarcastic Misadventures of pissed off Charizard

By: Cutman99

Prologue

My name is… was Charizard, but now my trainer, Gaylord, decided that a much better name for me would be Awesome Guy… LIKE HELL!! Anyways, ever since he captured me while I was sleeping, my life has just been Hell from then on out! Every day it's always the same routine! He sends me out, I take him somewhere, he acts too happy to not be on drugs, flirts with and sexually harasses me because he's a Pokephile, calls me back into my pokeball and never shuts the hell up or puts me to practical use! The weirdest thing is, I'm the only Pokemon he owns that has a problem with what he does to us. The rest of his pokemon don't mind so much, in fact they love it. The stupid nicknames, the flirting, all of it! Especially Gardevoir and Lopunny! Or should I say Beautiful Broad and Sexy Beast? Each day I hope that either he dies, or I die. Either way, I welcome it with open arms at this point! Also it's a good thing he can't understand me, otherwise I wouldn't be the one who's messed up if you catch my drift! I tell you, my life sucks, and it has continued to suck to this day!

1

Sweet Release

I sighed as I was sent out of my pokeball and said, " It's 3:00 in the morning! What the bleep do you want? Do I need to take you some where? Do you want me to light your bong?" My Trainer, Gaylord, flicked his wrist in an oh-so-gay fashion and said, "I'm setting you free pal!"

"You're what?" I said with a sense of disbelief. Gaylord the sighed and said 'I know this may be hard to accept but…"

"Not really!" I interrupted, like it mattered though. He can't understand a thing I say. "I've found…" he continued, "Someone else." He said as he sent out a Salamence. "What's up baby?" Said the Salamence. (Or Radical Dude as Gaylord called him.)

"Oh no, He's replacing me!" I said sarcastically. "I'm so heartbroken." Gaylord then looked at me sympathetically and said "I just think that this is what's best for the both of us."

I obsessively agreed with him. My mind teeming with high hopes for freedom from his oppression! "I'm sorry Awesome Guy..." said Gaylord "It's over between us."

"Yes!" " It's Very tragic!" I said sarcastically, "Now I need to be in a volcano region so if you could just…" Too late, he was already flying away. "Sure!" I said sarcastically, "Don't worry! I can totally survive in this forest environment! I don't need to be in a hot area! A fire type will do just fine with a forest!" The truth is, I didn't need to be in a high temperature environment to survive. It just would've been convenient that's all! I then lay down just outside the forest where he left me, called him a prick, and then went to sleep. Little did I know that in the morning, My life would never be the same.


	2. Welcome to the Forest

2

2

Welcome to the Forest

The next morning, I woke up to the unpleasant feeling of a stick being jabbed against my head repeatedly! "Is it dead?" I heard someone say. "Shut up! It's waking up!" I heard another pokemon say.

Normally the awakening from being poked by a stick repeatedly would result in me mauling the person with the stick, but since they were merely curious pokemon, I decided to take a more creative approach. "May I borrow that stick?" I asked. "Sure" Replied the Sceptile who had been poking me earlier as he handed me the stick. I then thanked him and proceeded with my plan/response of jabbing him in the stomach with the stick.

"What was that for? Asked the Sceptile as fell on the ground clutching his stomach in pain.

"I'm sorry, is that not the way to greet someone in this place?" I asked with a hint of sarcasm.

"No!" Replied the Feralligatr who asked if I was dead.

"I'm Sorry! Did I forget to poke him in the eye continually?" I replied sarcastically/angrily. "That's not exactly the best way to welcome someone." Said the Sceptile. "Let alone say hello."

"Yeah, because I was totally serious when I said that!" I said Sarcastically.

"Then you really need to work on your social skills man." Said the Sceptile.

"I'm pretty sure he was being sarcastic Sceptile!" Feralligatr replied. "You'll have to excuse him. He's pretty oblivious when it comes to sarcasm."

"No! Really?" I replied.

"Yeah! I can't believe you didn't notice!" Sceptile replied. I glared at him as he finally realized it was sarcasm.

"Where am I?" I asked.

"Your in the Burdock Forest." Said the Feraligatr. "The question is, why?"

"Well I heard the weather here was simply wonderful, and a fire type such as myself can't resist living in an environment that is not fire type compatible!" I responded.

"Really?" Asked Sceptile.

"No! My jackass ex-trainer released me here and just left me to die!" I replied. "What's your story Big Blue?" I asked Feralligatr.

"Well, you can basically call me a rebel!" Said Feralligatr. "Mostly due to the fact that when I was Totodile, my parents always told me to never let anyone push me around or tell me what to do. Then one day I was captured by a very abusive trainer. So the next time he sent me out, I ate him! And he was delicious! Unfortunately, the last place I was sent out was here in Burdock Forest, where the only place with water is a small pond in the middle of the forest! Under normal circumstances I'd probably die, but I count those as an authority so I don't play by their rules, and continue to live on!"

"Wow!" I replied with astonishment. "That's… Something else!"

Sceptile then said "I've… Always been here."

"Yeah I never figured a grass pokemon would've lived in his natural environment all his life!" I replied.

Sceptile then went on to make a comment about how stupid I was for not knowing an obvious fact, but I interrupted by stating that it was sarcasm, Then figured that there was no point in trying and decided to let him be his oblivious self from then on. Besides, he'd probably figure it out eventually.


	3. Us against the World

3

3

Us against the World

It was not long until I was fed up with the forest environment I was living in, and decided to leave. So I went over to the pond to see if Ferallagtr wanted to come with. He agreed and we were off to ask Sceptile the same question.

However he responded "Where will we go?"

I then said "Back to my home in Mount Forest Fire."

"Why would I be interested in going into a mountain region when I'm a forest dwelling pokemon?" Asked Sceptile.

"Well then I guess your not interested in an environment where the soil is much more fertile, the forests are much wider and greener, and it always remains the same warm temperature with visits of rain!" I replied.

"Why would that not interest me?" Asked Sceptile. "That's everything a Sceptile could ever want!"

"That's great for him." Said Feralligatr. "But what about me?"

"Three words." I replied. "Volcanic hot springs."

"Okay let's go!" Shouted Feralligatr as he dashed towards the forest's exit only to run into the electric fence at the edge of the forest. "Who the *beep* puts an electric fence at the edge of a forest and why?" He asked angrily!

"Well it certainly couldn't be because of the fact that you're a fierce carnivore who eats human beings and I'm a walking fire hazard!" I replied sarcastically.

"Actually that sounds like every reason to put an electric fence here!" Said Sceptile. "Well I guess were screwed!"

"Yeah! Because there's no way in hell a level one hundred Charizard like myself could even hope to melt a regular electrified chain link fence!" I said as I melted the fence and walked right through.

"Sarcasm?" Asked Sceptile.

"Sarcasm." Replied Feralligatr as they both followed me down to Burdock City.


	4. First Burdock City, Then the World

4

First Burdock City then the World

It was not long before our presence was noticed when we arrived in Burdock City. Unfortunately, it was first noticed by a police officer. Normally this would not be a problem, but the people of Burdock City see wild, fully evolved pokemon as a threat to society. Thus, did he order in a squad of pokemon rangers. Enraged by the thought of authority being sent to handle this situation through temporary control, Feralligatr then bit the head off of the cop. But the cop's speaker was still active and the rangers were able to hear the cop scream in agony as Feralligatr devoured him with the utmost pleasure! So obviously they sent over an elite squad of rangers. "Nice going Feralligatr!" I said sarcastically. "You just made it so that exiting the city will be a lot more difficult."

"Sorry!" said Feralligatr. "You know how it is when it comes to authority with me."

"Yeah, I suppose." I responded. "Besides we would probably get in trouble anyways from robbing the stores of everything we'll need!"

"We're going to commit a robbery?" Asked Sceptile.

"Well do you have a better idea?" I asked.

"Yes!" Replied Sceptile. "Ask for it."

"Yeah, because humans would be totally cool if a wild Charizard, Sceptile, and Feralligatr walked into their store all of a sudden and asked if they could take some items without paying." I responded.

"You're right!" Said Sceptile. "Too easy!"

"Hey guys! I'm back!" Said Feralligatr carrying a Sh** load of items with him.

"Where the F*** did you get all this Sh** from?" I asked.

"From what was once the department store." Replied Feralligatr as he handed us each a bag containing essentials for the journey.

Just then the Pokemon rangers showed up, all with Stylers at the ready.

"Alright rangers," Said the commander. "Capture on!"

At that moment all the rangers activated their stylers and started making loops around us with tops in an attempt to capture us.

"Oh no," I said sarcastically. "They're going to use beyblades or what ever the F*** they're called to capture us I'm so scared." Then I set them all on fire! I was able to take out at least three vertical rows of rangers.

"Heads up rangers," Said the commander. "We've got hot stuff coming through."

At this point it was obvious that he was the only ranger left. Not that it mattered, because Feralligatr just ate him anyway. So we grabbed some fried Corpses for the road and were on our way, leaving Burdock City in ruins. Proving that the people's fear was indeed quite rational.


End file.
